Dating With Herpes – Get Back InThe Game

Dating with herpes can be so very hard, especially for those who have been recently diagnosed and living with herpes.  But it’s extremely important that you get back into the dating game as soon as possible.

It’s easy to have a good attitude and pursue your dreams as long as everything is going your way.  But what about when you have herpes and single?  It’s easy to lose your passion for life when you’re hurting.  Many people who have herpes are just sitting on life’s sidelines.  You are scared, nursing your wounds and not moving forward because of what you’ve been through.

Herpes may be a reason to to feel sorry for yourself but it doesn’t give you a right to.  If you are ever going to see the wonderful relationships that you deserve then you have to shake off the self-pity and get back into the dating game! Shake off your discouragement.  Shake off the fear.  We all have herpes, we all have been hurt before but you can’t let herpes be an excuse to not date.  Sometimes you have to play the game in pain in order to win!

At the time of this writing, it’s football season here in the United States.  As I was watching my favorite team play one of their best players had a broken hand and bruised ribs.  He was the star defensive lineman and the team trainers had wanted him to sit out of the game.  He had a big cast on his arm and was wearing a special vest to protect his ribs.  He was so banged up he looked like a mummy.

During the pre-game warm-ups a reporter asked him how he was feeling.  He responded; “It’s painful, but I’d rather be in the game in pain than to be sitting on the sidelines watching.”

If you are going to find happiness, a healthy relationship and peace with herpes then you can’t let it cause you sit on the sidelines either.  You have to push yourself forward.

The universe rewards people who are determined. People who get knocked down and then gets right back up.  You can’t let your hurt, your pain ,your disappointments get in your way of a passionate life.

No matter what life throws in your way, your attitude should be: “I’m hurting but I’m still here.”  I may have herpes but I’m still dating. 

Anybody can sit on the sidelines of this game we call life.  It’s easier to blame others than it is to get back into the game.  Anybody can find an excuse to be sour or to give up on dating.  When you’re hurting and in pain, it’s easy to become fixated on your disappointments.  You need to realize that all this will do is bring more discouragement, more self pity and eventually even depression.

One of the best things that you can do when you’re hurting and get your mind off your problems and pain is to  help somebody else who is hurting.  When you help others in your own time of need you are sowing a seed that God (Yes, I’m spiritual and proud of it!) can use to change your situation.

Several years ago I went through a painful divorce.  I was all of a sudden thrust back out in the dating game with herpes.  I was devastated and it was so unfair.  For weeks I was so depressed that I wouldn’t leave my house.  Most of the time, I wouldn’t come out of my room.  I couldn’t focus on my job and my work was suffering.  The thought of having to tell someone that I had herpes basically paralyzed every muscle in my body.  Each morning that I awoke, I couldn’t wait until wait for it to get dark.  I wasn’t living.  I was only existing.

I was in so much pain and overwhelmed with the break up and herpes that I knew that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Thank God for my family and especially for my little sister.  One day she was brutally honest with me.  She said, “Nobody can take away your pain except you.  You know I love you, Ed but you’ve got to quit feeling sorry for yourself.  Quit nursing your wounds.  Quit thinking about your problems and get out of the house and move forward with your life.”

I was defensive at first…almost offended.  I thought, “You don’t know the pain that I’m feeling.  You don’t know what I’m going through.  This has ruined my life.”

She said, “Ed, if you’ll move forward God will take your scars and turn them into stars.”

I don’t know what exactly happened but it seemed as though a light bulb was lit in my heart.  It was like a heavy weight was lifted off of my shoulders.  I felt free.

I immediately set off on my journey to help others dealing with the same pain.  Creating a couple of websites based on herpes and most of all helping people.  My readers have reached out to me for guidance and sometimes to cry but my message is always the same…”Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get back in the game”

I could have easily remained bitter with a chip on my shoulder and blaming everybody but I made the decision to get back in the game.  If I can do it then so can you!  Make a commitment to yourself today.  Commit to being someone’s blessing.  It’s the most wonderful  thing and you’ll feel a lot better knowing you made a difference in someone’s life.

May Peace Be With You All!

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